Are you beginning to feel a little pressured?
Resist it.
What's right will wait for you, patiently.
Jonathan Cainer (2011)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Will I be a Clare... or a De la Mare?
Love of its muted music breathes no sigh,
Thought in her ivory tower gropes in her spinning,
Toss on in vain the whispering trees of Eden,
Last of all words spoken is, Good-bye.
Walter De la Mare
[De la Mare approached death with great serenity. "My days are getting shorter," he told Joyce Grenfell. "But there is more and more magic. More than in all poetry. Everything is increasingly wonderful and beautiful." On June 20th 1956 he wrote to a friend about the midsummer leaf and blossom: "One looks at it partly with amazed delight and partly with anticipatory regret at its transitoriness." The next night, at 2am, the nurse asked if he was comfortable. "Yes, I'm perfectly all right," he replied - then he caught his last breath, gasped and died.]
I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes...
And yet I am, and live with shadows tost
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
And een the dearest - that I loved the best -
Are strange - nay, rather stranger than the rest.
John Clare
["If life had a second edition," wrote Clare, "how I would correct the proofs." He spent the last 22 years of his life in a lunatic asylum in Northampton, forsaken by his former friends and family.]
(Why? Because I fear I know the answer to above question... yet in truth nobody knows. We think we're following in the footsteps of those that went before, but no two paths are identical - even if the feet fall together, the view from inside out can never be recaptured within a later lifetime. We're on our own. Quite, quite alone. (Living before) death: the final frontier.)
Notes from: Albery, N. (1994) (ed) Poem for the Day London: The Natural Death Centre
Thought in her ivory tower gropes in her spinning,
Toss on in vain the whispering trees of Eden,
Last of all words spoken is, Good-bye.
Walter De la Mare
[De la Mare approached death with great serenity. "My days are getting shorter," he told Joyce Grenfell. "But there is more and more magic. More than in all poetry. Everything is increasingly wonderful and beautiful." On June 20th 1956 he wrote to a friend about the midsummer leaf and blossom: "One looks at it partly with amazed delight and partly with anticipatory regret at its transitoriness." The next night, at 2am, the nurse asked if he was comfortable. "Yes, I'm perfectly all right," he replied - then he caught his last breath, gasped and died.]
I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes...
And yet I am, and live with shadows tost
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
And een the dearest - that I loved the best -
Are strange - nay, rather stranger than the rest.
John Clare
["If life had a second edition," wrote Clare, "how I would correct the proofs." He spent the last 22 years of his life in a lunatic asylum in Northampton, forsaken by his former friends and family.]
(Why? Because I fear I know the answer to above question... yet in truth nobody knows. We think we're following in the footsteps of those that went before, but no two paths are identical - even if the feet fall together, the view from inside out can never be recaptured within a later lifetime. We're on our own. Quite, quite alone. (Living before) death: the final frontier.)
Notes from: Albery, N. (1994) (ed) Poem for the Day London: The Natural Death Centre
Thursday, July 7, 2011
It never rains but...
So, 6am. Hurrying from a complete all-nighter at King's to a morning's teaching, you take the wrong Northern Line branch from Kennington and alight back at Waterloo: where you started from.
Tired, grimy, pressed for time, you have over 10 minutes to wait at Elephant & Castle. Priceless moments are scuttling away as it begins to pour down. Impatience descends.
But then you remember.
You sit down. Watch the rain. Feel the air. Be alive.
Beijing comes to mind. You put on this song. Lean back. And remember Ru Da...
Tired, grimy, pressed for time, you have over 10 minutes to wait at Elephant & Castle. Priceless moments are scuttling away as it begins to pour down. Impatience descends.
But then you remember.
You sit down. Watch the rain. Feel the air. Be alive.
Beijing comes to mind. You put on this song. Lean back. And remember Ru Da...
Saturday, July 2, 2011
'...every poem I wrote ought to be called Happiness'
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
Raymond Carver
(Why? Because I am utterly humbled by it. Even more so knowing that it was written by a man preparing to die. It evokes gratitude and clarity of perspective, yet also a certain sadness. In its presence I feel sorry... and prepared to try.)
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
Raymond Carver
(Why? Because I am utterly humbled by it. Even more so knowing that it was written by a man preparing to die. It evokes gratitude and clarity of perspective, yet also a certain sadness. In its presence I feel sorry... and prepared to try.)
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